Navigating the world of dating shows can be a curious experience, especially when you find yourself cheering for contestants on Love Is Blind. Watching them sit in those little pods, pouring their hearts out, convinced they’re discovering the secret to everlasting love — it’s a mix of charming and cringey, all at once. You can’t help but root for them, and part of you might even feel inspired. But, six years into my own marriage, I can safely say marriage is less about aligning on every issue and more about learning to love each other through them.
Take Ramses and Marissa, for instance. They thought bonding over the big questions in life meant they’d found their forever partner. And to be fair, that’s an ideal start. Shared values can be the backbone of a relationship. But what about the quirky, random things that make up day-to-day life? Like, what if one person is absolutely convinced pineapple on pizza is a crime, and the other could eat it every day? In our house, we’re actually split on that very topic — and, believe it or not, it’s come up more than once.
And then there’s family. I’ve learned that family is the ultimate wildcard in any marriage. My biggest relationship test yet came when I decided to work with my wife’s sister on a project. Now, family is everything to my wife. For her, there’s no question — you just don’t let family down. I, on the other hand, have this deep-seated urge to take a long walk when things get intense. Let’s just say my first instinct is a bit more “flight” than “fight” when family disagreements are involved.
So, here I was, up against a project that felt like a minefield, and suddenly things got heated between my wife and me. I felt myself shutting down, and before I knew it, we’d hit an ice-cold wall. I realized we were at an impasse, and I had a choice: I could stick to my guns, or I could actually try to understand what she needed from me. So I asked, “What can I do to help you feel the most love in this moment?” Not my natural instinct, by the way. But that question was the key.
Turns out, the answer was clear: she needed me to finish the job with her sister, despite the potential for drama. Was it easy? No, absolutely not. But it was a turning point. I learned that marriage isn’t about being right; it’s about deciding to put love before pride. In that moment, it wasn’t about winning or losing. It was about showing her that I cared enough to stick with it.
Honestly, marriage is like a lifelong game of improv. It’s less about sticking to a script and more about rolling with the unexpected and finding ways to make each other feel seen and valued, even when you’re not totally aligned. At least one of us has to say, “I love you more than I love being right,” and the other has to be gracious enough to receive it. It’s a balancing act, a daily decision to put your pride down for the sake of connection.
So, can Love Is Blind really create lasting marriages? Well, maybe — if marriage was only about talking through the big stuff. But in my experience, real love is a bit messier. It’s not just about shared values; it’s about how you show up in the little moments, the ones that don’t make it into a reality show highlight reel. It’s about the willingness to see each other through the disagreements, the compromises, and even the weird pizza topping debates.
In the end, marriage is about finding someone who makes the disagreements worth having. It’s about rolling your eyes, sharing a laugh in the midst of a spat, and, at the end of the day, deciding, “Yeah, I’d still pick you every single day — quirks, clashes, and all.”
What Love Is Blind 
Leave a comment